My position now, and forever more will be that I want my children with me every single night until college. I hate that several nights each week this is not the case. This is the disappointment I live with continuously, and I do not know if I will ever be okay with having lost this precious time. What I do know is that it cannot be completely reversed, so I must make some peace with it.
Today is a holiday; my girls don't return until tomorrow. I woke up sometime between 5am and 6am because I am a mom and that's what we do. What most moms don't get to do is roll over and go back to sleep until 9am. This is exactly what I did this morning! (I honestly cannot remember the last time I slept in like this.) I then proceeded to lay in bed streaming videos until NOON! I wanted to shout on Facebook just how awesome this was. I was feeling lazy but not guilty. My stress levels and lifestyle have kept me from doing anything like this for more than 8 years. It felt like it was about time I focus on something just for me that I can only do when my girls are gone.
I got out of bed to go share my excitement with Facebook ...
Then it happened - I read my news feed. I have less than 100 Facebook Friends; of those friends several dozen are moms of children with autism, and 99% of my total friends group are moms. (Most of whom have small children; elementary school age and younger.) These are moms who woke up between 5am and 6am because that's what we do. Several of them lamented on Facebook about holidays and the consensus was that every single mom wished she could have had a little more sleep this morning.
Bragging about my sleepy morning became unnecessary and a bit ridiculous. What didn't change is that I remain guilt-free. These moms had the blessing of waking up WITH their children this morning! I did not, so I did the best thing I had available to me - I slept.
Today I remain disappointed that I didn't get to wake with my girls, but I am feeling blessed because I am the ONLY mom on Facebook this morning who got out of bed at noon.
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